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"Women Who Read" A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning, the husband returns after several hours of fishing and takes a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and greets her: "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, thinking: "Isn't that obvious?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," responds the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment." ---> MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
posted by Non at 11/05/2003 11:15:00 AM

 
had quite a strange drag thru the dreamland this morning. i was visiting an aunt i hadn't seen in a long time - somewhere in ohio. she actually lives up north in goshen. wherever we were, it was a 2 hour drive back to indy and it was sunday. it was raining and dark in the middle of the day, tho the clocks all said 8:20. i kept trying to pack and couldn't get things together, because the ghost of my aunt's "lover" kept adding shoes to my box of stuff. her whole room was full of shoes, some of them men's. everytime i took the shoes out of my box, more would appear. she explained that bill, the ghost, liked to play pranks like that and that he lived somewhere in the room. well i went back to the room and yelled at bill. suddenly i could see him. he was lying on a bed in what looked like a connected room. we talked for a while and he seemed nice enough, tho he was about 1/2 my aunt's age. i told him that she was sending some pictures home with me and he asked to see them. he wanted her to keep one of them and asked that i tell her. in the picture, he and my aunt were on ski boat and looked very happy. it was signed on the back, and said merry christmas. that part i blame on watching 12 monkeys before bed. i met one of bill's living friends and we took bill for a ride in the car. we went downtown to a flea market and there was this toilet race in the streets. some charity event - and people were speeding down the street riding on toilets. i tried to join in. i went by a local church and outside there were 3 marble looking toilets sitting outside, like they were ready to be installed or recently taken out. then there was the one i got stuck with. it was black plastic and kept coming apart in sections. wierd. bill's friend showed up again and gave me a ride back to my aunt's house. i was debating on whether to wait till morning to start my drive when i woke up.
posted by Non at 11/02/2003 11:48:00 AM