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Saturday, August 24, 2002
Can I have fries with that?From Bizzare News HANOI - A gourmet chef in Vietnam died after being bitten by a venomous sea snake that he was trying to cook as the nightly special. Le Hung Cuong, 22, picked up the half-metre sea snake from the glass aquarium it was kept in to prepare the restaurant's specialty, porridge with snake's blood. The snake lashed around and bit his left hand. He died en route to the hospital. "It was bad luck for him and for us," the restaurant owner said. Fortunately, the snake was retrieved by another chef within a few minutes and served to the waiting customer. just about all i did this morning is fly. in dreams that is. i found a bunch of money in the trash can at the grocery. looked like ones and a twenty. turned out they were bible pamphlets in disguise. at one point i was at crown hill cemetery and exploring the grounds. the "inside" was set up like a mall almost. there were many vending machines with all manner of snacks. there was a cigarette vending machine there that was marked $2. i looked and there were 2 one dollar bills sticking out of it. i took those and they were pamphlets too. then we get to the really weird crap. i'm in this zoo/park type area and there are many woodland creatures and rabbits in hutches. i turned one of the hutches around to see the bunny only to discover that it was open on that end and the bunny ran right out. then several raccoons showed up and we were having a conversation. they kept wanting to climb on me and that freaked me out. then i went to this building where something was happening. not sure what. there was a "leader" from some other civilization that wanted 2 of the people there to do something to scare him before he would negotiate. these 2 people ended up on some really strange torture devices. one of them put out a noxious gas as it's cruelty. the other seemed to contort the body into extremely uncomfortable positions. there was a way around all this and it involved me releasing some creature that had taken me as it's host. it was a worm of sorts. one end had a hole with really pointy teeth. the process for removing it from me was automated and involved it turning into an orange liquid that was transferred to a silver bag. this made me feel really full and after it was over i spit out some reddish orange junk into a nearby sink. in answer to your question mojo.... one piece of velveta and a garlic dill pickled peppercini. Friday, August 23, 2002
Fuzzy Bunny + Blender + Shake and Bake + EZ Bake Oven = Wheeeee!Had a good few days off. Didn't get much done, though. Oh well, I will catch up on dishes and housework tomorrow. Feel infinitely better, though. I think that I am falling in love with my digital cable box. I look toward it for a release from the hell that is life without transportation in a small town. Don't get me wrong, though. I love living here. What I really like is that I can go for a walk at 2:00 AM, and not get raped, stabbed, killed, or all of the above. I love the fact that I can sleep during the day, without hearing tons of traffic. I love that I can see the stars at night, without all of that stupid ambient light. But I miss driving. Boy, do I miss it. But soon, perhaps. A friend of mine just bought a used truck for $1000. It is an 83 dodge. Full size, to boot. I can fit inside the truck, without hitting anything. It has leg room to spare. It is made out of steel, and would probably survive an impact with a train. And, it will probably outlast me as far as service life. This is what I need. Perhaps by December, if everything goes well. More than likely, it will be January, though. I'm still planning on taking a vacation next fall. But I have changed locations. Now I am thinking that I might see Colonial Williamsburg. Always liked going there with the family. Or, perhaps I will go and see the Mall of America for about a week or so. I have always wanted to see that. Oh well, I guess I have ranted enough. Back to the bustling hub of activity that is work. Thursday, August 22, 2002
i swear half these schools aren't in the system. one of them not find-able ones is named after a bishop. this doesn't look like the school, bishop. it's a school johnny altar boy. looks like the back of your trailer to me. it's a school, don't worry. these rosary beads smell funny. i don't wanna wear this nun's outfit. hey! the lolly pop police just came by and popped my balloon. wah! i'm frightfully bored. i've been active on the message boards - from home, i mean. posted a second movie page on my site. the kastle just keeps getting bigger. emailed shadow ape to see if they would consider doing scary godmother, or at least another run of gorey stories. looks like laurie anderson is back on tour, but only coming as close as cleveland. a guy in denmark wants to buy a book that i have. my brother needs help setting up his computer tonight. i get to take home a new fax machine. new tires on the car. may have to take a road und shutter trip this weekend. need to get the hell outta dodge. oops. time for crappacinno..... Monday, August 19, 2002
it took about 30-45 seconds this morning to figure out what that noise was. turned out it was my alarm. i looked outside and it was still dark. clock must be wrong i thought. listened to the radio and sure enought it was 20 til "the hour." i hate that. just tell me what hour! anyway, i wandered out into the hallway when the roomate appeared. he said "is it still lightning outside?" i said "no, still just inside." i didn't actually say it. i thought it about 10 seconds later. the clever parts of my brain were still sleeping peacefully in my bed. that's what makes them clever. yesterday i got screwed. not in a happy fun way either. was leaving to go see a movie with my brother when i heard the wub-wub noise. flat tire. ironically this same tire has had a nail in it's tread for several months with no problem. this time tho, i had picked up a very sharp screw. while putting on the barbie spare i was nearly accosted by birds. they were setting off some kind of pre-fireworks boom-booms at the fairgrounds. the sky became black with birds, and with me wearing a black shirt as well, i only imagined the worst. didn't happen tho. they congregated in neighboring trees and all was well. skipped the movie and just went to the grocery instead. then home, put in laundry, just missed the oblongs, and all of adult swim was a rerun. i did see 2 movies over the weekend. Chappaqua and Pumpkin. sounds like a coupla crack ho's on indy ave. the first movie was about what i expected. drugs, disorientation, blurry stuff. then i put in the movie and it all settled out. pumpkin was rather clever if not dead on with the stereotypes stupid humans put on people. one of my favorite scenes is when pumpkin declares that he's not stupid, retarded, or special. christina ricci is a poor little rich girl who's led a very sheltered life, only to discover the ugliness that is in the world. lunch is about over. time for the crappicino. Sunday, August 18, 2002
What ever happened to Miss Cleo???
Just sitting here in dispatch working my double shift. As I said last night, Wheeee... The good news is that the crazy ass paople are in bed, and all is quiet. The even better news is that once I get off tomorrow afternoon, I am off UNTIL THURSDAY. YAY! Here is a tenative list of my plans. I intend to go home at 1500 tomorrow and die. Then I shall perhaps resurrect myself by 0700 on Tuesday. Then I will do my very best to stay in bed until Thursday Night. I expect to accomplish this goal, regardless of the difficulty. I think that the total complete morons and other assorted cretins are starting to wear me out. Hope to be back on by Thursday Night!
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