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Friday, January 11, 2002
i just got back from seeing 13 ghosts (the movie). hideous steaming pile o'crap. doesn't hold to the original story line of the classic at all. what's with this glass house? and racial stereotyping? black nanny who talks about crazy white people and saves (part of) the day by messing up spells recorded on tape. this she does by attacking a mixing board and making it sound like scratchin' and mixin'. bad movie, bad bad movie. anyone remember timothy churchmouse? i cackled all the way home remembering the bulldog puppet. anyway, as of the time i left tonight there was still a mouse living in my closet. i bought a mice-cube last night at wal-mart. supposed to be humane and junk. says on the box, just take outside and turn upside down to release them. OR if the mouse has "expired" then you can dispose of it's little carcass in the nearest receptacle. guess it's better than the glue trap. although that might work for the churchmouse mentioned above. that show did some lasting damage. Tuesday, January 08, 2002
Two items in the news today deserve comment. Jim Mora Jim Mora was fired from the Colts today. I have a theory which I feel better puts this in perspective. The Colts SUCK. The Colts always have SUCKED. The Colts always will SUCK. The Colts would SUCK if they had a good coach. The Colts would SUCK if they had a bad coach. The Colts would probably manage to SUCK even without a coach at all. The Colts, in fact, would SUCK with completely new players. The Colts, it should be noted, SUCK with their current players, And the Colts, would likely completely SUCK with their old players back. In fact, I bet that the Colts would manage to completely SUCK with no players at all. There is just no limit to their suckiness. Why? Because they SUCK. This should be no big shock. It says, right in First Thessalonians 15:4 "And forsayeth He for to all Mankind. And to everyone else. For that it shall be declared... That the Colts SUCK." Amen. Praise.... Dave Thomas Dave Thomas died today. Dave founded a restaurant chain based on the novel idea that if someone could make hamburgers paper thin, and sell them for cheap prices, than people would flock into the restaurant in droves. And flock they did. Wendy's is also known as the place where I had to get in a fist fight to get an extra sour cream packet for my friggin baked potato. Grrrrr.... He died of cancer. Doctors have so far been unable to link his illness with his addiction to Wendy's Chili, or his passion for serving burgers in the drive through wearing only his pajamas. Monday, January 07, 2002
pass the crackers! there be cheese indahaus i gots my gummit check t'day. it be time to call up the booty-lishes hunnies and break outda foties layda on we gonna go boats! you with? or auf deutsch: führen Sie die Cracker! es gibt gots des Käseindahaus I meine t'day gummitüberprüfung. es ist Zeit, die Beute-lisheshunnies aufzurufen und Bruchoutdafotieslayda an gehen wir gonna Boote! Sie mit? someone please explain why i chose to come home via kessler blvd today! good goddess! helicopters, media, JOGGERS, and some kind of torch running thing. it looks like an ad agency blew up and landed all over broadripple. people crossing agin' the lights, blowing through stop signs. all the while i'm listening to some manic depressive tout the benefits of electroshock therapy on NPR. "it's like banging on the side of a television till the picture is clear." sign me up! we still haven't found that supposed mouse from the other night, but the cat is definitely after something invisible to us. that one ghosty thing that goes back and forth from the living room to the garage has been pretty active lately. wonder if kitty just now noticed. i called my dr. today. he's so wanting to get me in to see a specialist to control my blood pressure. can i pay in videos and books? he apparently has no concept of what it's like to not have $$. don't get me wrong, i love to help people when they have a boat payment to make. i need a dr. named gonzo that lives in an RV in the parking lot. someone with a clue. Hello. My name is Bob, and I am also a Baptist Pedophile Alcholic. Oh wait, wrong Blog. DOH! I awakened from my advil induced haze to the sound of a car alarm going off. Apparently it was stuck, as it proceeded to go off for over 2 hours, until the owner was finally roused and properly beaten. AAAAAAAAAA! It's times like this that I really LOVE living in a very small town. Very small. VERY SMALL.... Car Alarm: wheewhoowheewhoowheewhowheewhooowheewhoo Farmer John: snore... snore.... snore...... WHA! TARNATION! BELOVED! WHAT IS THAT? Car Alarm: wheewhoowheewhoowheewhowheewhooowheewhoo Cletus: sounds like an alarm... GOOOOLLLLLLL LLLLLLYYYYYY!. Farmer John: ANOINTED! PRAISE! it's time for a hangin..... Now, quiet reignes supreme again. Perhaps I should rest.... Ahhhh, the beauty of advil.... Praise...... Sunday, January 06, 2002
last night/today started out with a bang. i was going to the fridge for my 3am garlic-dill peppercini and bit of extra sharp cheddar when there was a bright flash. mind you it's dark, it's late, and the cat was hounding me for the cheese. so i'm not sure what direction it came from. maybe a fried squirrel or bird that landed on a wet transformer, accidental portal opening through errant psychic energy, i don't know. the roomate flew out of his room to see what was the matter. while we were standing there, there arose such a clatter! there was a loud buzzing/clunky type noise coming from the support wall between the kitchen and living room. then the pitful beep of electronics in distress and trying to reset. the cat has been stalking and holding vigil for what we think is a mouse loose in the walls. Hey there readers! Yes, we can see you there in your jammies with your hair flattened against one side of your head. We love y'all anyway, you unbathed masses! Wanna post here? Express your horror at what's already here? send email to : blogger@digitalscream.org for the invite. Send now before I release the flying monkeys! |